A Guide To College: Roommate Edition

By Carolyn Guerrero on February 7, 2016

When you first arrive at college, it is the start of an adventure unlike any other — new friends, new atmosphere, and a general exposure to a new community and home. In your first semester in college, you will likely be facing a lot of new and foreign things that you have never been exposed to before and won’t completely know how to react to.

It can be overwhelming how everything is different from what you were used to in high school. From your professors to your new sense of freedom, to the less than appetizing dining hall food to … roommates.

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Moving away from home is difficult enough without adding strangers to the mix. Mom and dad are no longer available to make you food, make sure there is always enough toilet paper, or wash all of your dirty socks. They are also no longer there to be offering up support 24/7. (Of course, your parents will still love you and support you, but their time and presence will be relegated to a phone call or if you’re lucky, the occasional visit.)

In college, you will find a new found independence unlike any you have experienced so far — an independence that comes neatly tied in a package along with your school dormitory … along with a small group of other girls that will also be experiencing this new found independence, but who also coincidentally happen to share a living space with you.

Having roommates for the first time isn’t easy. Chances are, if you have had roommates in the past, they’ve been in the form of an annoying (but you still love them) brother or sister. But, even then, your parents were likely still around to manage you while also performing the household duties you took for granted (or at least to delegate chores to get the cleaning done …) and knew how to keep stock of much needed supplies.

Not to mention the fact that you were used to everyone’s habits in your old household — everything like thermostat settings, living room decorations, and noise levels were things you had grown accustomed to being a certain way. Now, in your new dorm with your new roommates, you have to share your living space and learn to communicate (and sometimes compromise) about these things.

You may get lucky like I did and have a great set of roommates that you grow to get along with and work out your issues on a case-by-case basis. Or, you may get stuck with a lousy set of roommates and find your habits incompatible. Either way, having roommates and learning to coexist with them is one of the hardest challenges you may face in college.

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For starters, your roommates are people that you are going to be sharing a bedroom/apartment with and seeing everyday. What if you don’t like them? What if they don’t like you? Or what if they’re nice but you have absolutely nothing in common?

During my freshman year, we had a total of five girls sharing a dormitory apartment. Most of us had similar interests — we were nerdy fan-girls with an interest in musical theater — but one member of the group didn’t share these interests. On the contrary, she was more interested in sports and crime shows. She could not tell the difference between a Dalek (Doctor Who) and R2D2 (Star Wars). It seemed like the situation would not work — we had little in common, little to talk about. We were simply strangers being forced to live together.

Somehow, though — amazingly — we made it work. We started out by taking small trips together to the grocery store, the post office, and various other locations nearby. During these trips, we started chatting. Small chats, at first: How do you like the weather? What classes are you taking? Do you like your professors? Soon enough, these little chats became longer and longer, and now we are close friends.

But still, we sometimes have our differences. After all, we come from different locations, different backgrounds, and overall, different lifestyles. She likes to keep the rooms very warm, she’s a night owl, and she’s rather, well … loud. I, on the other hand, prefer a colder temperature setting and am used to be a morning person. It would seem like we would have a hard time living together, but we learned to compromise … on a lot of things.

One place that involves a lot of compromise is the living area. Perhaps one of your roommates is an avid Justin Bieber fan and wants to put her life-size cardboard cutout in the living room. Or, to use my roommate as an example, maybe her baseball game is on during your favorite television program (*cough The Walking Dead cough*). These are examples of common problems that might arise with you and your roommate.

Different tastes in decorations (she wasn’t happy about the Doctor Who and Sherlock posters) and dibs wars over the television are just a few of the challenges you might encounter. Having respect for each other and learning to share is essential to having successful relationships with your roommate. It’s not easy — sharing is HARD — but it does make living together a more enjoyable experience for both parties.

Sharing doesn’t end in the living room though … it also applies to the bathroom and kitchen. If you know your roommate likes to take showers in the morning, don’t suddenly decide to take a long shower in the morning before their class.

Be aware and respect each others’ schedules, and make sure to clean (and Febreeze, if necessary) after you’re done in the bathroom. The same applies to the kitchen. Wash your pots and pans after you use them, or coordinate a dish washing schedule to avoid giant pile-ups of dishes in the sink.

Also, be mindful of refrigerator space and any food that your roommates buy. As delicious and tempting as their leftover chicken dinner might look, if it has their name on it, don’t eat it. Again, respect is key.

Photo by Carolyn Guerrero

Initially, your roommates are just that: people that share your room. Ultimately though, they can become your friends and family… it just takes a little bit of patience and communication.

It is important to note that you do NOT have to be friends with your roommates. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. Don’t force it if it is the latter. They can be challenging — and communicating and living together will definitely be hard work — but you never know, you might be living with your future best friends.

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