Befriending Your New Roommate

By Vivian Gonzalez on June 14, 2013

What do you do when you find out your new roommate is a vampire?  Yikes… Luckily, life is not a bad novel and, chances are, you most likely won’t be paired up with a bloodsucker.  However, the myth about ultimately hating your roommate can become a reality for some, so, how to avoid this?  Befriending your new roommate is important. You may not be the closest of besties, but having some sort of friendly bond will make your living situation all the more pleasant.

  • Rule  one: Be Friendly

The best way to prevent future catastrophes is to avoid them from the get go.  Be sure to show moderate enthusiasm for the new living arrangement and establish the fact that you want this to be a pleasant journey.  Do not smoother your roommate with cheerfulness and bliss, however.  This can be very off putting.

  • Rule Two: Establish boundaries

Friends are not roommates and roommates are not friends.  That, dear readers, is the golden rule. Establish this early on and you are home free.  Do not get too familiar with your roommate because this can lead to frequent and unpleasant arguments.  This does not mean that you are living on a battlefield and your roommate is the enemy.  It simply means that getting too close brings about that certain comfort that expands boundaries you might not necessarily want expanded.

The best way to maintain a healthy roommate relationship is to clearly specify what you expect from this arrangement.  For instance, if you want to alternate chores such as taking out the trash or cleaning the kitchen, print out a log and write down who does it last, then alternate.  That way, everything is on paper and you can avoid confusions. I once lived with someone who loved to play music but because I did not let the person know the times that I needed silence in order to study properly, our schedules would clash and it was next to impossible to concentrate on my school work with the loud music playing.

  • Rule Three: Bond
Well, we’ve already established that becoming best friends with your roommate might not be the best idea, though it might certainly work for some.  However, this is not to say that you shouldn’t at least bond with your him/her.  Set some time aside, perhaps a few hours out of the week specifically designated for a little bonding.  If you’re over 21, a wine and movie night might do the trick.  If you live in an unfurnished apartment, as some are, take the time to personalize your space and, who better to do that with than the person you live with? You don’t have to know her life story or what his goals and aspirations are, but a little bonding can go a long way to better understand the person you’re sharing your home with.

May your roommate situation be filled with less sexual tension than these three.

  • Rule Three: Communicate

I shall go straight to an anecdote with this one.  Liars, cheaters and thieves are my biggest red flags.  I suppose I failed to mention this to one of my first college roommates.  One night I came home from a small gathering and found her going through my jewelry collection.  When I asked what she was doing, she said she was looking for something to match a pair of earrings she had recently purchased.  Strike one!  When I asked her why she hadn’t asked my permission before snooping through my things, she swore she had and I had given her the green light.  Strike two! When I asked her if this was the first time she went through my things, she answered no (at least she was honest, right?).  Strike three, and she was out! I do admit that case was rather extreme and that the average roommate does not need to be told to ask permission before entering a room and taking things that don’t belong to him/ her.  However, communication is key and, you never know these days.  Sometimes people get very comfortable and take liberties they shouldn’t.  It is your job to warn, that way, when you open a can of whoop ass, you’ll be fully justified.  Seriously though, do tell your roommate if he/she said or did anything that offended you, that way you easily avoid future altercations!

Sometimes, however, the best way to have a pleasant living arrangement is to make it happen for yourself.  There are many ways to find out what kind of person an apartment complex wants to pair you up with.  It’s as simple as filing out some paper work or asking management.  All in all you’re stuck with this person, or these people, for at least a year, it is important to make this journey a pleasant one!

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